Give me the Song and I'll sing it von moko-chan (J2/RPS) ================================================================================ Kapitel 1: Beauty and the Beast ------------------------------- Song: Angela Lansbury – Beauty and the Beast Beauty and the Beast Tale as old as time There were many stories ghosting around the internet of how exactly they had met for the first time, most of them involving blinding smiles and hugs, if not at least a warm handshake and the subsequent strike of love-lightning. Jensen sometimes caught himself reliving that very first moment, thinking back to when Jared had walked through the door, nervous, and so very, very young, and begging for his acceptance with big brown eyes. There were no smiles, no dimples - those came later. Their very first meeting was about fear and supremacy, and Jensen, who had never before been in the position of so much control, felt flattered, and pleased – and unbelievably relieved. This boy, this ginormous man-child with hands as big as garbage lids was nothing but likeable – adorable even, and Jensen found himself smiling at Jared in a way he didn’t smile at a lot of people anymore. True as it can be He offered Jared his hand, and when Jared seized it with both paws at once, shook it with shy insecurity, Jensen barely managed refraining from patting his wide shoulder. Then Kripke came in, pleased to see them thus amiable together, started talking about the show, ranting even, and twenty minutes later, Kripke was still chatting enthusiastically, and Jensen’s gaze happened to meet Jared’s with a small wink. It was the first, brief silent exchange between them, and it was over in the blink of an eye – Jared’s eye, to be precise – but it had been there. Barely even friends The next meeting was different, but in a good way. Jared was less nervous; more relaxed, and out came the dimples. Jensen was a little taken aback, to be honest. Jared had been adorable all anxious and eager to please, the dimples were simply too much. But then they started reading out the script for the first episode, and Jensen was so amazed by the sudden change that went through Jared – how he became Sam – that he forgot all about the dimples, until the reading was over, and Jared did the unexpected. Then somebody bends He hugged him. Jensen found himself blinking over one wide shoulder, all smashed up against Jared’s warm body, and, funny enough, he didn’t mind. He hugged back. It was okay that he had to stand on his tiptoes to do it, felt weird, sure, but still good. Jensen couldn’t remember when he had hugged another guy who wasn’t his brother like this – he wasn’t the touchy-feely guy, never had been – but with Jared it was different. In a way, Jared was his brother after all. Unexpectedly It was strange, how they fell into routine after that. Jared would hug him whenever they hadn’t seen each other for more than three hours, and Jensen would hug back, even if he teased Jared for it from time to time. Jared would put his arm around Jensen’s shoulders at public events, and Jensen would let him, because he knew that the smile Jared wore for the cameras was to hide his insecurity, and for reasons he didn’t fully understand, he felt never more protective than when he was with Jared. It made no sense. Jared was the human equivalent of a bear. He could take care of himself. Just a little change When Jared started playing it up, when he did more than just hug, when he started climbing him like a tree – that was when things became really weird. Cause Jensen still didn’t mind. He played along, was glad and happy for Jared that he had lost his fear of the unseen viewer who could judge him in the privacy of his home, and it was a little too late, when he noticed the way he reacted to Jareds touches had changed. Small to say the least And there was nothing, not the smallest thing, he could do about it. It would have been nothing but cruel to tell Jared to stop now – and for no other reason than that his stomach suddenly did funny things when Jared put his hands on him. Stupid. And Jared seemed to do it increasingly often, Jensen wasn’t quite sure about that, he kind of had the feeling Jared touched him all the time now, and that couldn’t be accurate. Jared was a pretty handsy guy, that much was true, but the occasional pat on the back, the soft stroke along the nape, the rub across the thigh was normal between friends, right? Right? Both a little scared It was when those touches stopped entirely that Jensen noticed it finally. Jared looked at him funny. Not bug-eyes funny, but … sad. Longing. And he wasn’t prepared for that, not in the slightest. Jared had a girlfriend. It was hard enough fighting his own feelings; he couldn’t do that when he knew there was a chance of actually getting what he was craving for. Neither one prepared So, when he kissed Jared in his trailer after a day of shooting in the rain and rolling around in the mud in Dean’s clothes, Jared freaked out on him. Naturally. It took Jensen almost five minutes to calm him down – he was just that good at Jared-management, thank you – and then he kissed him some more, until Jared finally believed that this was neither a joke nor a prank, but really happening. And Jensen wasn’t all set for Jared in lust. It felt quite different when these big strong hands groped his butt instead of his biceps. But Jensen managed. He always did, didn’t he? Beauty and the Beast It took them two full weeks to figure out that that thing between them was a little bit more than friendship, a lot more than lust, and nothing they had felt for another man ever before, and they were both scared shitless. Jared still had a girlfriend. Of course Jensen couldn’t just tell Jared that he was scared. That wouldn’t have been very manly now, would it? So he kept quiet, stole a glance at Jared whenever he thought he wasn’t looking, except that Jared was looking all the time. And when Jensen saw that Jared was scared just as much as he was, it wasn’t so bad anymore. Overprotectiveness actually had its merits. Ever just the same And they did great. They didn’t rush things – Jensen made sure of that – and only when Jared swore he would go nuts with testosterone overdose, if Jensen didn’t fuck him already, Jensen gave in and did it. Ever a surprise And that changed things so fundamentally that he had another freak-out. This relationship with Jared was awesome being what it was – the sex was too good to be true. There had to be a catch somewhere. Maybe it was the girlfriend. Ever as before But Sandy wasn’t there, was far, far away, and Jensen swore he would do nothing, nothing to jeopardize this. There would be no moving together, no coming out to anybody, no change at all. Everything was just perfect how it was. Even with the girlfriend. Ever just as sure And it stayed like that. Sure, Jared was a hand full, and sometimes Jensen wondered when he had gotten so unbelievably besotted that he even adored him in his sugar highs. As the sun will rise But when he woke next to him after a night of extremely exhausting sex followed by shameless cuddling, he wouldn’t have had it any other way. Tale as old as time They stayed together in secrecy, told nobody that they were more than just friends, Jared didn’t even break it up with Sandy. Tune as old as song Sometimes Jared was still very afraid what the unknown person at home in front of his or her TV would think about him. Bittersweet and strange Jensen watched him freak out over and over again, had to suffer through Jared’s engagement, and finally decided that he had to risk something if he didn’t want to lose everything. Finding you can change He told Jared he loved him, wanted him and only him, and that he wanted Jared to tell Sandy the truth, end the engagement, and move in with him. Learning you were wrong Jensen had always thought, Jared knew that he loved him. Sure, he hadn’t exactly said it – but he thought it had been pretty obvious. Jared hadn’t known – Thus all the freak-outs and the engagement. Certain as the sun rising in the east As soon as Jensen had said the words, there was a shift in the atmosphere, Jared’s eyes started to gleam in a way they hadn’t for a very long time, and then there was true love’s first kiss. Jensen had never been so breathless before. Tale as old as time They moved in together. They weren’t so sure the fans believed their story about Jensen having to move out of his old apartment and finding no other place, but they didn’t really care. Song as old as rhyme Jared didn’t really care for anything he had been so afraid of, since Jensen had said the words. Beauty and the Beast Living together wasn’t exactly easy. Jensen was grumpy in the mornings, and Jared seemed unable to clean up after himself, but it was heaven nonetheless. Tale as old as time Jensen would listen with the patience of a saint to Jared’s endless rambling about this or that or the other thing, and just adore it, when Jared lost track of what he was talking about mid-sentence. Song as old as rhyme Jared would watch Jensen play guitar, listen to him with growing fondness in his eyes, just about ready to pounce on him when Jensen would start singing along without even noticing. Beauty and the Beast It didn’t really matter how they first met. That was a long time ago. The End Kapitel 2: Don't Go Breaking My Heart ------------------------------------- Song: Elton John & Kiki Dee - Don't Go Breaking My Heart Don’t Go Breaking My Heart Jared closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was ridiculous. Jensen was stupid. Of course, Jensen was brilliant, a great actor, surprisingly smart even – apart from his sometimes quite idiotic choice of movies to take part in – but he was also, and Jared was gaining proof, very stupid. Don’t go breaking my heart I couldn’t if I tried Honey, if I get restless Baby, you’re not that kind Don’t go breaking my heart You take the weight off of me Honey when you knock on my door I gave you my key Jared had thought he was being obvious, inviting his best friend and co-star to live with him, but obviously he hadn’t been obvious enough to break through Jensen’s brick wall of stupidity. They were living together for months and nothing had happened! Jared didn’t know how Jensen had managed, but it seemed he hadn’t noticed. Jesus, even Chad had noticed! And that wasn’t as phenomenal as it sounded since it was pretty obvious Jared was in love with Jensen. And everyone had noticed but stupid Jensen, who danced around the house half naked every Sunday just to drive poor Jared crazy. Eric’s constant remarks on set about their undoubtedly very pleasant and exhausting home-live did nothing to make Jared forget the Adonis he shared his house with, and the fact that everyone and his or her mother believed him and Jensen to be lovers was exasperating because it wasn’t true. It wasn’t even close to being true. They were closer than they’d been before, sure, Jared had seen much more of Jensen, Jensen’s habits and of course his body since he lived under his roof, but there hadn’t even been a kiss to ease his pain. And only because Jensen was stupid. Nobody knows it But when I was down I was your clown Nobody knows it Nobody knows But right from the start I gave you my heart I gave you my heart And here he was, in his kitchen, sitting at the dining table, and enduring Jensen’s maddening Sunday ritual of rolling out of bed around midday, strolling into the kitchen in nothing but his pyjama bottoms, and raiding the fridge for something edible with half closed eyes. If Jared hadn’t known better, he’d said Jensen did it on purpose. But Jared happened to know that Jensen thought quite low of his sex appeal, believed himself to be merely tolerable, and thus had no idea that the sight of him in low hanging tweed trousers was enough to bring Jared dangerously close to an aneurism. It became questionable whether Jensen had noticed Jared was in the room with him, when after deeming the contents of the fridge beneath him and closing the door of the refrigerator, Jensen proceeded to scratch his butt in a way that could be considered mildly indecent it being Jensen’s butt and all. Jared’s throat produced a gurgling sound, and Jensen turned around to present him with a surprised but thoroughly pleased smile. “Morning, Jay.” Jared wanted to cry. So don’t go breaking my heart I won’t go breaking your heart Don’t go breaking my heart But being a man bred in Texas and taught to act accordingly, Jared didn’t cry. He returned the smile, used his dimples to hide the devastating agony in his eyes and offered Jensen to make him coffee and pancakes. Jensen took the offer with sleepy yet overflowing thankfulness, and Jared managed to stand up from the table and walk towards his housemate without doing anything stupid – like … like … jumping him for example. And Jared wanted to jump Jensen so bad it drove him nuts. He’d imagined about a million times what would happen. He would haul Jensen into his arms, or pin him against the fridge, or hold him down on the sofa … and kiss him. Yes, maybe that was not quite as dashing and daring as one would wish, but Jared was a romantic, and he wanted to kiss Jensen before he proceeded to molest him. Nobody told us Cause nobody showed us Now it’s up to us, babe I think we can make it But there would be no kissing, because Jensen was stupid. Jared lost every doubt he might have had left concerning that fact when Jensen hopped on the counter to lend him company while he fixed him breakfast. He was still pretty sleepy, his eyes barely open from lack of coffee, but the smile on his features was warm, and all his half-awake attention was fixed on Jared. Jared felt a gush of heat run down his spine and tried to keep his eyes on the bowl he was mixing the dough for the pancakes in, but Jensen was sitting right next to him, all pale skin and freckles, and he smelled like sleep and warmth and home, and Jared had to turn his back to the temptation and distract himself with making coffee and getting the frying pan out of the cupboard below the coffeemaker. When he turned back, frying pan in his right hand, Jensen hadn’t moved a muscle, but his eyes had added a sudden gleam to the sleepiness, and as soon as Jared had retuned to him, he placed his hand on Jared’s shoulder. So don’t misunderstand me You put the light in my life You put the spark to the flame I got your heart in my size “Jay, you idiot,” he said with that wonderful growly voice of his he only used when he was very tired or very drunk, and Jared failed to suppress a shudder. He looked up to Jensen like a deer caught in the headlights of an approaching truck, and the hand on his shoulder moved closer towards his neck. Jensen’s thumb brushed across his collarbone, and Jared had to bite his lip to hold back a moan. Either Jensen was remarkably stupid or he knew exactly what he was doing, and Jared prayed to God it was the latter. It scared Jared that even this simple touch had him as stirred up as he was, but since there was nothing he could do about it, he tried to hold still and let Jensen do whatever it was he had in store for him. “You could have said something, you know,” Jensen whispered, his fingers gently stroking over Jared’s neck, and the deer-in-headlights-expression deepened. Apparently, Jensen wasn’t quite as stupid as Jared had thought him to be. “I thought you would say something, Jay. I thought I had read you all wrong when you invited me to move in. Did you seriously expect me to make the first move? How could I be sure that you wanted it as much as I did? You are so nice to everyone that I thought your behaviour towards me was … friendly.” Nobody knows it But when I was down I was your clown Nobody knows it Nobody knows But right from the start I gave you my heart I gave you my heart Jared held his breath as the look in Jensen’s eyes changed from sleepy to alert within seconds, and his hand came to rest on Jared’s cheek. “But you want it, don’t you? You want it as much as I do.” Jared managed to nod, and Jensen smiled, leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips. It was over in seconds, and Jared watched Jensen’s retreating mouth with badly disguised longing. “You want more?” Jensen asked purring, and the frying pan Jared had been holding fell clonking to the floor. Jared put his hands to Jensen’s naked shoulders, stepped into the space between his spread thighs, and waited for Jensen to kiss him again. He wasn’t used to being the passive one, the one who waited to be kissed, but it felt awesome, and Jensen was so gentle it made him feel all gushy inside. Don’t go breaking my heart I won’t go breaking your heart Don’t go breaking my heart “God, don’t look at me like that,” Jensen muttered breathless, leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jared’s mouth, and Jared groaned and let himself be kissed. Jensen’s mouth felt different than any girl’s mouth Jared had ever kissed, but his lips were soft, he knew what he was doing, and Jared found himself begging for more with tiny little kitten licks – something he had never done before. He was used to taking what he wanted, had never begged to be kissed deeper, but when Jensen did what he was asked for and took his mouth with soft but confident stokes of his tongue, Jared didn’t mind so much. All coherent thought fled his mind, his hands fell from Jensen’s shoulders down to his hips, pulled Jensen closer, and Jensen growled into his mouth, bit Jared’s lip and mirrored the touch by putting his own hands to Jared’s slender hips. Nobody knows it But when I was down I was your clown And right from the start I gave you my heart I gave you my heart Their groins met, and Jared thought he would die from the sudden lack of blood in his head. He was kind of grateful Jensen interrupted the kissing and gave him some time to breathe and collect his wits, but his mouth instantly missed the warmth and wet of Jensen’s, and it seemed to act on its own when Jared leaned forward and tried to rejoin them. Jensen let him, returned his desperate kisses with gentle patience, closed his arms around Jared when he pressed closer, and held him. It was then that Jared realized Jensen had loved him all along, had waited for him to make the first move because Jared always was the one to make the first move, always the one to take things into his hands and move closer. He had been the one to initiate the first handshake, the first hug … how could he have been so stupid to wait for Jensen to initiate the first kiss? But Jensen had done it nevertheless, had overcome his fear of being too bold and kissed him, and Jared instinctively knew what that meant. Don’t go breaking my heart I won’t go breaking your heart Don’t go breaking my Don’t go breaking my Don’t go breaking my heart I won’t go breaking your heart He broke the kiss, buried his face in Jensen’s neck and murmured, “I love you” over and over and over again. Jensen started to stroke his back with his left, intertwined the fingers of his right hand with Jared’s hair and finally whispered, “I love you, too.” Don’t go breaking my heart I won’t go breaking your heart The End Kapitel 3: Dream Lover ---------------------- Song: Bobby Darin/Kevin Spacey – Dream Lover Dream Lover Jared knew Jensen was grumpy in the mornings. He’d known ever since the first week of them shooting together, when Jensen had nearly knocked him out with the door of the car that had driven them to set, because he hadn’t noticed Jared wanting to get out on the same side as he had due to the remarkably large puddle on Jared’s side of the car. Jared had grown accustomed to Jensen’s growly morning voice, and his rather bitchy replies to everything that was said to him until he’d had his third cup of coffee. Jared had even gone so far and told Chad of all people how adorably grumpy Jensen was in the mornings, and when Jensen had moved in with him, Chad had dared him to go inside Jensen’s room early on a Sunday morning, jump on top of him and shake him awake, shouting the battle slogan of the Dallas Cowboys. But Jared’s life was very dear to him, thus he had resolutely refused to do so, and Chad had called him a chicken and talked about how awesome he was … or something like that, Jared hadn’t paid much attention to him. So, Jared found grumpy Jensen adorable, even though he had no idea of the real reason why Jensen was so adorably grumpy. Now, the thing was that Jensen was a dreamer. Not the nose in the air walk against a wall kind of dreamer, but the kind with unbelievably vivid dreams. And there was absolutely nothing he detested more than being disrupted in the middle of one of those amazing dreams by the exasperating noise his alarm clock produced. Every night I hope and pray A dream lover will come my way A girl to hold in my arms And know the magic of her charms Because I want a girl to call my own In between takes Jensen would sometimes retreat to his trailer, curl himself together like an overgrown cat and try to catch on to the dream he’d been disturbed from in the morning. That was at least what he’d been doing before signing Supernatural and getting a co-star like Jared, who never seemed to sleep, who didn’t need any rest ever, and mistakenly concluded that went for everybody else as well. Now Jensen never got his naps between takes, but he didn’t mind so much, because he liked Jared and his doofus grin, and his dimples, and the way he would whine like a five-year old if Jensen denied him his attention. But Jared still deprived him of the sleep in between takes he’d been so very fond of, and no matter how much Jensen liked him, he would still be grumpy in the mornings, his hazy mind clinging desperately to the pictures of his latest dream. I want a dream lover so I don’t have to dream alone Jensen usually remembered his dreams. Most of them were about every day things – the show, his friends, his family, Jared and his stupid dogs – but sometimes Jensen would dream about someone special. He wasn’t sure who this special someone was – he hadn’t met her yet – but those dreams were the most amazing of all, he felt all warm and safe and just good dreaming them, and when he woke up he wouldn’t be grumpy at all, he would be refreshed, and happy, and ready to greet the day with one of his more blinding smiles. Dream lover where are you? With a love o so true And a hand that I can hold To feel you near as I grow old Because I want a girl to call my own Jensen hadn’t yet told anyone about those dreams – it was nobody’s business after all – and although he was everything but the superstitious kind of guy, he had the odd feeling that he would know immediately when he finally met the girl of his dreams. Lately those dreams had been filled with Brown, Green, and Gold, with strands of soft looking brown hair he was desperate to touch – and these details had been new, but the amazing feeling attached to the dreams had been the same as ever, and Jensen was dreaming that dream increasingly often. He didn’t know if it was the new bed – the one Jared had made him buy after he’d indulged Jensen sleeping on an air mattress for the first few weeks under his roof – or just the change of sleeping in a new environment, but Jensen felt the impact of those dreams on his general behaviour, and was pretty happy with it. I want a dream lover so I don’t have to dream alone He found it secretly hilarious how Jared would look at him the mornings after those dreams – expecting him to be grumpy and ill tempered, and being completely thrown out of his balance when Jensen would smile at him and wish him a good morning. He had absolutely no idea that his happy good-morning self was driving Jared increasingly nuts. Jared wanted his grumpy Jen back, the one with pillow creases all over his face when he showed up in the kitchen in the morning, stumbling to his coffee resources with half open, heavy lidded eyes. There was absolutely no question about how adorable Jensen was being awake and brimming with happiness in the mornings, but he had something peculiarly lovable about him toddling around half asleep – like Jared would get away with forcing him into his arms and cuddling him senseless even though he was a fully grown, very manly man from Texas. Someday, I don’t know how, I hope that she’ll hear my plead Someway, I don’t know how, she’ll bring her love to me So, one Sunday morning, Jared did the unthinkable. He armed himself with Jensen’s favourite mug – the dark green one with two joined hearts at the front, one pink and one white. Jared had given it to Jensen last Valentines Day because he secretly loved it when Jensen would get all flustered and agitated and smacked his butt … and … err … yes – he armed himself with said mug and a can of the strong coffee Jensen liked, and marched off to Jensen’s room. He hushed Harley and Sadie, forbid them to follow him in – Jared loved his dogs and even if they would have been perfect allies for his evil genius plan, he didn’t want them to get traumatized. And Jensen would kill him if he’d make him scare the babies. After all, Jensen loved them as much as Jared did. Dream lover, until then I go to sleep and dream again That’s the only thing to do Till all my lover’s dreams come true Because I want a girl to call my own Jensen was fast asleep when Jared put mug and can down on his bedside table. There was a content little smile dancing across his lips, and Jared almost forgot his evil plan and let him be. Seeing Jensen so utterly at peace induced a strange feeling of delight in Jared, and he sat gingerly down on the bed, unsure what to do next. For a few minutes he just stared at Jensen’s sleeping features, until he managed to make himself fill the green mug with the coffee he had brought, and Jensen sniffled and turned towards him – curled his body around Jared in the process. Jared gulped, his breath hitched, and he realised he was a dork. Jensen was his friend, his best friend, and he loved him. Jensen was the person he spent all of his time with, he was the perfect housemate, and he loved him. Jensen was pretty, and funny, and Jared loved him. I want a dream lover so I don’t have to dream alone Jensen produced a happy little noise, and he curled a little tighter around Jared. He was dreaming about Brown, and Green, and Gold again, and this time there were dimples and a blinding smile in addition to the soft looking brown hair he was so desperate to touch. Something smelled exceptionally awesome, too – like coffee and home – and it was warm, and comfy, and Jensen felt so good he could burst. Then someone touched his head, ruffled his hair in a gentle, loving way, and Jensen melted into the touch and tried to get more of it. But the warm, strong hand that felt so good on the skin of his cheek just a second ago vanished, and Jensen woke with a strange feeling of loss. Dream lover, until then I go to sleep and dream again That’s the only thing to do Till all my lover’s dreams come true Because I want a girl to call my own Jensen yawned, pressed his cheek closer to the warm thigh his head was lying right next to, and hummed in appreciation. This was a very nice thigh – solid yet comfy, and it smelled really familiar … like Jared. Jensen’s hazy mind mildly wondered what this thigh that smelled like Jared was doing in his bed, and Jensen extracted his face from the chequered pyjama bottoms that clothed the thigh and looked up to see a very, very crimson red Jared sitting by the side of his bed … in nothing but said pyjama bottoms. Jensen found that a little bit strange, but apparently, Jared had brought him coffee and his thigh to cuddle with, and Jensen managed a happy little smile. “Morning, Jay.” Jared didn’t answer, and Jensen thought that was a little bit rude. I want a dream lover so I don’t have to dream alone Then he remembered his dream and his eyes went wide. Staring into Jared’s eyes he saw Brown, Green, and Gold, Jared’s hair looked soft and very, very touchable, and although he did not smile in his usually blinding way, there was a hint of dimples on his cheeks even now. “Jesus,” Jensen said, and because he was still half asleep, he shuffled a little so Jared would fit beside him on the mattress and started pulling on Jared’s arm. Jared went down with an unmanly squeak, stunned to silence when Jensen sneaked on top of him like a sleepwalking ninja and abused him as a gigantic cushion. “I’ve been dreaming about you for weeks,” Jensen mumbled, pressing his cheek to Jared’s chest, looking up to Jared with sleepy, yet loving eyes, and Jared had the very strong suspicion his brain just melted, while Jensen silently wondered how he could have been so very blind for so long. Just because he’d been brought up to be straight that didn’t mean the love of his life had to be a girl. Jared was perfect for him in every way – he’d brought him coffee to bed, for goodness sake – and because Jared was so very perfect for him, he smiled when Jensen pressed a timid kiss to his chest – blinding, with the dimples on full force, and Jensen completely lost himself in Brown, Green, and Gold. Please don’t make me dream alone I beg you don’t you make me dream alone No, no, I don’t wanna dream alone Come on my darling, don’t make me dream alone Please don’t make me dream alone The End Kapitel 4: Hungry Eyes ---------------------- Hungry Eyes I’ve been meaning to tell you … I’ve got this feeling that won’t subside … Jensen felt it as soon as he set foot into the kitchen. The flicker of heat across the skin of his neck made his heartbeat accelerate. It had been a few days since he first noticed, but now the feeling was permanent. By now he had gotten quite used to the fact that Jared was a talker, never shut up except for sleeping and eating – and he did shut up while eating, he was a well mannered Texas-boy after all – and it was okay. It really was. The talking had become a part of Jensen’s life just like Jared had, and he would possibly go as far and say he’d miss it if Jared suddenly stopped. Not that Jared showed any intention of doing so. He was talking right now, about what, Jensen wasn’t entirely sure, but if Jared had wanted him to know, he would have waited for him to actually be in the same room with him before starting their conversation. What Jensen hadn’t gotten quite used to, what still felt strange, was the watching. The intent gaze fixed on his every movement, like Jared feared he might miss something if he turned his eyes away. I look at you and I fantasize … You’re mine tonight … Now I’ve got you in my sights … with these … hungry eyes … He felt Jared watch him, felt his eyes on him like he would the touch of his hands, and the thought send a sudden shiver through him. Jensen liked Jared’s hands, they were huge and strong and yet so very gentle that being touched by them had somehow become a sensation Jensen enjoyed more than he was ready to admit. Still … it was weird being watched by his best friend like that, while he talked a mile a minute about … unicorns? … Weird and yet somehow right, and Jensen had no idea if that combined with his craving for Jared’s touch meant that he had the hots for Jared. Jared wasn’t exactly his type. One look at you and I can’t disguise … I’ve got hungry eyes … I feel the magic between you and I … Jensen didn’t exactly remember the date, but last time he actually went out with someone, he liked girls. He even had Danneel to prove it … even if they only seemed to get together at public events nowadays. Huh. I wanna hold you so hear me out … I wanna show you what love’s all about … Darlin’ tonight … Now I’ve got you in my sights … But that was not the point. The point was that Jensen liked girls, and that Jared was a guy, and that this thing between them had therefore to be a misunderstanding. Jared was the first guy-friend Jensen had ever had who was this touchy (maybe apart from Mike, but Mike went by a completely different set of laws anyway) who had a presence comparable to a gentle whirlwind – if there was such a thing like a gentle whirlwind. There was always noise, where Jared was involved, noise and warmth and a feeling of home Jensen had never felt with one of his other buddies. And that was absolutely explicable, given the fact how similar they were in certain aspects of their lives, from the initials and genders of their siblings to the happenstance they were both from Texas, and shared a not so secret love for cookie dough ice-cream. Jensen nodded to himself and opened the fridge. No need to freak out. Jared was his best friend. There had to be a completely logical reason that he watched him all the time … With these … hungry eyes … One look at you and I can’t disguise I’ve got … hungry eyes … I feel the magic between you and I … I’ve got … hungry eyes … Now I’ve got you in my sights with those … hungry eyes … Now did I take you by surprise? Jensen blinked in surprise as a large warm hand placed itself over his on the door of the fridge, closed said door, and proceeded to wrap itself around his fingers. He looked over his shoulder to find Jared there, a little too close to be without purpose, and Jensen swallowed audible. He hadn’t noticed the talking to stop. Maybe Jared was upset that he hadn’t paid attention to him, like, at all. “Jay?” he asked, and Jared’s eyes seemed to darken as he used the familiar nickname. Jared turned him around, all determined and self confident, and Jensen relaxed a little bit. Jared would not be this calm if he had the intention to do something outrageously stupid – like … hitting … or … or … kissing him for example. He would be flustered, his hair all over the place, not to speak of his freakishly long limbs, and – Jared kissed Jensen. He leaned in, pressed their lips together, and Jensen closed his eyes. I need you to see … this love was meant to be … Jared’s arms closed around him, pressed him as close to his warm body as was humanly possible, and Jensen’s head spun until he was perfectly sure the universe had just done a complete twist and turn, and now hung at a completely hazardous angle. Jared couldn’t kiss him! Jared was a guy, was his best friend, his housemate, co-star, landlord … and he had the softest lips Jensen had ever kissed. He opened his mouth to feel them under his tongue, tasted them with a slow, tentative lick, and Jared opened them to moan pleadingly. Jensen felt his body tremble against himself, and it was suddenly too hot in the room for him to think straight. He opened his eyes as he continued to kiss Jared, licked his way into his mouth, kissed Jared with a determination previously unknown to himself, and watched him become putty in his hands. I’ve got … hungry eyes … One look at you and I can’t disguise I’ve got … hungry eyes … I feel the magic between you and I … I’ve got … hungry eyes … Now I’ve got you in my sights with those … hungry eyes … Did I take you by surprise with my … hungry eyes? Jensen growled low in his throat and released Jared’s mouth, his gaze fixed on the red, swollen lips that had tasted too good to resist them in the future, until it flicked upwards to meet Jared’s eyes. They seemed to glow in the dim light of the kitchen, their colour a blend between brown, green and gold, and Jensen felt himself getting lost in their depths. It was true, Jensen liked girls, he really did, but it seemed that he liked Jared better. And wasn’t that a surprise? Are these … hungry eyes? Now I’ve got you in my sights with these … hungry eyes … “You kissed me,” Jensen said, a little hoarse, and Jared nodded, the tips of his ears turning pink. Jensen smiled and, very contrary to the original nature of the situation, felt quite predatory. “You happy with the outcome of that?” Jared nodded again, his eyes darting down to rest on Jensen’s lips for a second, and Jensen put his arm around his waist and pulled him closer until their groins met. “It would have been polite to talk to me first, you know? – Ask for permission.” Jared’s ears turned even pinker, and Jensen made the fabulous discovery that kissing him senseless was the one foolproof way to shut up Jared Padalecki. Not that he minded the talking – he really didn’t, he liked it – but he just loved the kissing. The End Kapitel 5: Lay Your Hands On Me ------------------------------- Song: Bon Jovi – Lay Your Hands On Me Lay Your Hands On Me Jensen was going nuts. There was no other way to describe it, he was losing his mind. When Jared had asked if he could teach him how to play the guitar he should have said no and made a run for it. Watching these enormous paws caress the guitar as if it was the best thing they had touched since forever was torture. Jensen didn’t even know why Jared had asked him to teach him playing. Maybe Jared wasn’t perfect at it, but Jensen wasn’t either, and he was beginning to get the feeling that there wasn’t much for him to teach. Not that that would stop him from pretending. Hell no. Jared had the most adorable difficulty to put his abnormally long pinkie to the right string, and Jensen was more than happy to help him out. Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me Jared was going nuts. It must have been a moment of mental disorder when he’d asked Jensen to teach him how to play the guitar. Watching these beautiful, skilled fingers glide across the strings was the single most tempting thing Jared had witnessed since forever. He’d known he had a thing for Jensen’s hands, he hadn’t known he also had a thing for the person attached to them. And wasn’t sitting across from Jensen on the living room floor, so close to him he could count his freckles, the perfect moment to do so? It was a Sunday afternoon in June, it was pleasantly warm and exceptionally sunny for Vancouver standards, and their attire was therefore rather limited. Jared wore his sleeveless dark grey shirt open, his tanned chest was bare, and his worn jeans were too long even for him, almost shielding his bare feet from view. Jensen, always the more unobtrusive one, was less naked, the front of his shirt held together by a few buttons in the middle, but that only added to Jared’s longing to rip it from his body. Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me All Jared wanted to do right now was put the guitars somewhere safe and fuck Jensen right here on the carpet, rug-burn be damned. But Jensen had probably no idea what his smile, and his freckles, and his hands did to Jared’s libido, so that would have been a little out of order. Jared sighed, misplaced his stupid uncontrollable pinkie again, and Jensen reached out and put it with gentle force on the right string. Jared had to suppress a not so subtle shudder, feeling Jensen’s hand on his, and he bit his lip. All he needed was one sign from Jensen, one little indication that he wouldn’t mind being sexually harassed by his best friend, and Jared would gladly jump him. If you're ready, I'm willing and able Help me lay my cards out on the table You're mine and I'm yours for the taking Right now the rules we made are meant for breaking Jensen wasn’t sure if there was an unspoken rule about falling in love with your best friend. If there was, it probably stated that you had to keep quiet about your feelings at all costs and were expressly forbidden to do anything about them. But he wasn’t that intimate with the bro-code, and maybe there were exceptions if you lived with said best friend, worked with him, and he called your dad “Papa Ackles”. There had to be an exception for him anyway, because Jared’s hands were going to kill him very soon if they didn’t place themselves somewhere on his body in an expressly non-platonic manner. Jensen couldn’t remember when he’d started to feel this way, but there had been a definite feeling of relief when Jared had broken up with Sandy. Of course the relief had been mingled with guilt, but Jensen hadn’t been able to do anything about that, and he would never be. Jared’s smile and his dimples had always been his weak spot, combined with the hands, Jensen was a doomed man. What you get ain't always what you see But satisfaction is guaranteed They say what you give is always what you need So if you want me to lay my hands on you He wanted Jared so bad it hurt – and he wasn’t talking about his boner, thank you – and seeing him 24/7 didn’t help at all. Jared was the nicest guy on the planet, he touched him all the time, and when he wasn’t touching, he was talking, and his voice was the next thing that drove Jensen mad. Thank the Lord the guy couldn’t sing. Jensen sighed silently and tried to focus on his instrument. He couldn’t help watching Jared play – he was supposed to watch him – and there must have been some hypnosis going on he’d been unaware of, because suddenly he was the one singing, and he’d had no intention whatsoever to do so. Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me It wasn’t that Jensen minded singing when Jared was around. He pretty much didn’t mind doing anything when Jared was around … maybe apart from taking a shower, but only for the obvious reason, and not because he was shy around Jared. It was just that Jared loved it when he sang, never failed to tell him so, and the praise was just unbearable, with Jareds eyes looking at him that way, his voice being all deep and raspy, calling him “Jen”, and his hands resting on his shoulder, or his arm, or both, or wherever Jared deemed fit to put them. All you got to do is So, naturally, Jensen stopped singing, and Jared looked up and stared at him. Jensen noticed the weird gleam in Jared’s eyes, the pupils blown as if he was in a fever or something, and Jensen’s throat went suddenly dry. “Don’t stop,” Jared said, and he sounded a little breathless. Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me Jensen shook his head and put the guitar away, and Jared did the same, but only to reach out and wrap his hands around Jensen’s. “What’s wrong, Jen?” he asked silently, his voice barely audible, and Jensen couldn’t help himself, he had to look down at their hands. Sure, Jared was a touchy guy, loved to wrap him up in this freakishly long arms of his, but wasn’t this a little bit … strange? They were holding hands, for God’s sake! I'm a fighter, I'm a poet, I'm a preacher I've been to school, and baby, I've been the teacher If you show me how to get up off the ground I can show you how to fly and never ever come back down Jared noticed Jensen looking down at their hands, and he felt a wave of heat rush through his body. It felt amazing, holding Jensen’s hands in his, but maybe it hadn’t been the best of ideas. Jensen looked fairly alarmed, and Jared couldn’t blame him. Jensen was a full grown man, a manly man, apart from the sporadically outburst of feeling in surprisingly different circumstances, but holding hands with your male best friend wasn’t considered exactly masculine. Not in Texas, anyway. What a lucky coincidence they currently were in Canada. Everything you want is what I need Your satisfaction is guaranteed But the ride don't never ever come for free If you want me to lay my hands on you Jared bit his lip and started to pull back his hands, but Jensen wouldn’t let him. He held onto them, squeezed them gently, and Jared was very, very close to a heart attack. He wasn’t prepared for such an assault, wasn’t prepared for Jensen’s hands closing around his, and wasn’t prepared for the feeling of his warm, rough palm on his skin. It felt amazing. At some point, Jared forgot how to breathe, and he was very grateful that Jensen didn’t underestimate the seriousness of the situation, and leaned in to press some air back into Jared’s lungs. Except that was not what Jensen was doing. Jensen was kissing him. Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me The noise escaping Jared’s trembling lips was embarrassing and decidedly unmanly, but Jensen didn’t seem to mind, he pushed Jared on his back, suddenly all predatory, and Jared mildly wondered why he had been so obsessed with Jensen’s hands and completely forgotten to pay attention to the lips. Jesus. Kissing Jensen was like … like … he didn’t know what it was like, but it was awesome, and when he put his hands on Jensen’s perfect ass and gave it a good, firm squeeze, Jensen moaned and started sucking on Jared’s tongue. Jared thought he’d died and gone to heaven. All you got to do is He spread his legs to give Jensen enough room to do whatever he wanted to do with him, and Jensen laid down on top of him like he belonged there and kissed every coherent thought Jared might have had left out of him, sucked it directly out of his mouth. Jared, never the quiet guy, moaned and groaned, and rubbed up against Jensen’s solid, hot body above him, and Jensen was so very polite to hold still and let him. Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me … Lay your hands on me Jared’s hands were close to burning a permanent mark in his ass, and Jensen was completely fine with that. He could not exactly remember who’d started this, but he’d definitely kill anyone who interfered and tried to stop them. God, Jared tasted good. Don't you know? I only aim to please And he was so pliant and warm and there, and he smelled so good, it drove Jensen wild. He started to counter the desperate movement of Jared’s hips, and they parted their mouths in a simultaneous gasp. Jensen shuddered, hearing his name coming as a soft groan from Jared’s lips, and the look in Jared’s eyes, molten and hot and pleading, was more than any living thing with a heartbeat could bear. Jared was driving him nuts. If you want me to lay my hands on you Jensen sat up, got rid of his shirt by ripping it open and throwing it across the room, took Jared’s hands in his, and placed them on his naked chest, the right one directly over his racing heartbeat. Lay your hands on me The End Kapitel 6: Wicked Game ---------------------- Song: Chris Isaac – Wicked Game Wicked Game Jared was lying on his bed, trying to blink away the tears. He should have known how this was gonna end. He should have known better than to think he had anything to offer that would interest someone like Jensen. Jensen had liked him as a friend – the younger guy who smiled all the time and didn’t seem to have a care in the world – as a lover Jared had absolutely nothing to offer him. But Jared had loved Jensen for so long; they had been the best of friends for so long that Jared had hoped against hope that he would have a chance – that Jensen would at least think about the possibility of loving him back. The world was on fire And no one could save me but you It’s strange what desire makes foolish people do I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you And I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you No, I don’t want to fall in love This love is only gonna break your heart But Jensen had pushed him away, had looked at him in a way he’d never done before, and Jared had known this was never gonna be. Jensen would never love him back. Jensen thought he was a freak for kissing him – probably hated him by now for daring to do so. Jensen wasn’t a homophobe, he wasn’t like that, but he was straight, and Jared felt a sting in his gut at the thought that one stupid kiss had ended everything between them. Jensen would move out – of his house and his life, and Jared could consider himself lucky if he would talk to him on set. Jared had overstepped a line with kissing Jensen, and he couldn’t remove the image of Jensen from his mind after he had pushed him away. The emotion in Jensen’s green eyes had been so intense that Jared had feared for a second that Jensen would hit him. No, I don’t want to fall in love This love is only gonna break your heart With you … With you This love is only gonna break your heart Jensen hadn’t hit him, had just stared at him, and Jared had turned around and run away. And now he was lying in his bed, above the covers, and clinging to his pillow like he was five years old again. No wonder, Jensen didn’t want him. Jensen wanted someone mature, someone who wouldn’t kiss him without warning and then run away because he was scared of the consequences. Jensen wanted someone special, Jensen deserved someone special. Jensen wanted a girl. Jared’s lips escaped a little sob and he curled his body into a ball of trembling limbs. The ache in his chest was worse than ever before, and he realised with a shaking laugh that this was what a broken heart felt like. And Jensen hadn’t even moved out yet. From now on, Jared would wake up to an empty house. There would be no adorably grumpy housemate in the mornings, no one to make him dinner that didn’t come out of a box. Jensen would never play the guitar for him again, would never entertain him with his absent-minded singing. Jensen would never ever allow him to hug him again. What a wicked game to play … To make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do … To make me dream of you What a wicked thing to say … You never felt this way What a wicked thing to do … To make me dream of you And I want to fall in love This love is only gonna break your heart Jared thought back to their first hug, to the strange tingle in his stomach when he had given Jensen free, and Jensen had looked up to him with a twinkle in his eyes, thanking him for not breaking all of his ribs. He’d told the story to Chad, and Chad, not being a dick for once, had earnestly warned him to be careful. “I hear he’s nice enough – but kind of complicated. Don’t let him hurt your big doggie-heart, ok Jay?” Jared had laughed at that and promised Chad to be careful, and the next time he hugged Jensen, he discovered how good he smelled – Maybe it had been a done deal right then and there. No, I want to fall in love This love is only gonna break your heart With you Maybe Chad had known Jared would fall in love with Jensen – and tried to warn him about that. Chad could be a douche, but he had more experience than most other guys his age, and he knew Jared remarkably well. Maybe Chad had known Jared wasn’t as straight as he’d thought himself to be before he met Jensen. Jared wiped his hand across his tear-stained face and tried to get a grip on himself. This wasn’t the end of the world even if it felt like it was, and there was no need to be crying like a little girl. He would get over this, he had to. Jared heard the door behind him creak open, and hastily closed his eyes. His back tensed at the sound of footsteps on his plush carpet, and the soft sound of someone else breathing in the room made his head spin. The world was on fire And no one could save me but you It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do I never dreamed that I’d love somebody like you And I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you No, I want to fall in love This love is only gonna break your heart[/i Jensen sat down on the bed beside him, and Jared held his breath. He was so afraid of what Jensen would say to him that he kept his eyes shut and pretended to be somewhere else. He did not care if that was childish – he hadn’t behaved very mature all day. “Jared,” Jensen said and his voice was remarkably void of loathing. “Open your eyes. Look at me.” Jared, being a good boy, did as he’d been told, removed his hand from his face so Jensen could see him, and Jensen reached out to him and caught one of Jared’s tears with his thumb. “You dumb-ass,” he whispered, and Jared felt knew tears well up inside of him. No, I want to fall in love This love is only gonna break your heart With you This love is only gonna break your heart “You can’t kiss somebody without warning and then make a run for it, Jay,” Jensen said as he gently stroked Jared’s wet cheek. “That’s considered very rude. You should give the kissed person at least a chance to react.” Jared just sniffled, and Jensen smiled down to him. “You thought I would be angry, yes? You thought I’d throw a tantrum because you kissed me?” Jared managed a meek nod, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks, and Jensen swallowed and lay down right next to him. “Stop crying, Jay. Please don’t cry. I’m not mad at you. I’m never mad at you, am I?” With you … With you This love is only gonna break your heart No I … This love is only gonna break your heart This love is only gonna break your heart Jensen’s head was lying right next to Jared’s, his eyes were honestly smiling, there was the warmth in them Jared had been attracted to right from the beginning, and Jared felt himself relax. “You’re really not mad?” he choked out, and Jensen pulled him into a gentle embrace. “The only reason to be mad would be if you’d kissed me out of a crazy whim and don’t feel like doing it again.” Jared felt his breath hitch, and the pain in his chest vanished. He put his arms around Jensen, pressed close to him, and the bear-hug forced a little laugh out of Jensen. “Be so kind and don’t break all of my ribs, ok Jay?” Nobody loves no one The End Kapitel 7: White Lie -------------------- Song: Foreigner – White Lie White Lie Jared sat in the kitchen, harbouring a cup of strong coffee in his hands and biting his lip. It was the middle of the night, it was his free weekend – but he couldn’t sleep. It had been the way Jensen had looked at him when he’d whished him good night that had kept him tossing and turning for hours until he finally decided to give up and get up. It had been the feeling that something was off between them that had kept him wide awake when he should be nearly dead with exhaustion from their current shooting schedule. He hadn’t turned on the light in the kitchen, had brewed a cup of coffee in the semi-darkness of the digital watch on the stove and had sat down on the kitchen counter with the strongest coffee he had ever made for himself and not for Jensen. The feeling Jensen was keeping something from his had been growing on him in the last weeks, and while Jared knew that they were still the best of friends, he was beginning to wonder. Why would Jensen think he had to keep secrets from him? One little white lie One white lie surrounds us One white lie won’t stop the love That I feel around us It was the way Jensen moved around him that had changed. Like Jared was fragile – like he would break if Jensen touched him too … too hard. And wasn’t that the joke of the year … to think of Jared as fragile. Jared missed the slaps on his shoulders, the bumping of hips when Jensen wanted to get him out of the way and didn’t have his hands free to just shove. A few weeks ago, Jensen would have punched Jared in the stomach for a crude joke … yesterday all he did was grin in that adorably shy way of his. Jared didn’t know what he had done, but it was like the years they had spent as friends had gone with the wind. Suddenly Jensen was shy around him again, kept his distance … blushed, when they accidentally touched. Darling, do you think about me? What I feel for you – don’t you ever doubt me You see the lock on the door of this heart – but you hold the key I need the trust you can give Is there something that you need from me? Jared heard the shuffling of pawns across the tiled floor of the kitchen, and when he could make out a pair of pointy ears, he managed a week smile. “Hey, girl – did I wake you?” Sadie produced a whiny little sound, put her head in his lap, and he gingerly petted it. “I’m sorry sweetie – try and go back to sleep,” he whispered, Sadie grunted and pushed her head towards his hand, and Jared sighed. “Yeah, I know. Should be trying to sleep myself. But he’s just so … I don’t know. The only thing I know is that something’s wrong. But if he were mad at me, he’d just tell me so. He always does.” Jared knew he was babbling, but he didn’t care – after all, it was his dog he was talking to. “It’s like he … like he was afraid of something. It’s driving me nuts, girl … not to know what’s up with him. He should know I wouldn’t be mad … no matter, what it is. He should know he can tell me anything.” One little white lie One white lie surrounds us One white lie won’t stop the love That I feel around us “Jared?” Jared stiffened in his chair, looked up to find Jensen standing in the door of the kitchen – dressed in flannel pyjama bottoms, with his glasses on and rubbing his forehead. “What are you doing up in the middle of the night … making coffee?” Jensen padded closer, sniffing a little, and Jared knew it was the smell of coffee that had woken him. “Sorry,” he mumbled and stared down to Sadie’s big brown eyes, because all of a sudden he couldn’t look Jensen in the eyes. It felt weird to be alone with him in the kitchen at this time of night – when the light of the moon that fell in through the window did amazing things to his pale skin, made it look soft and touchable, and made his eyes gleam behind his glasses. Jared had never felt this way around his friend, and the need to touch was stronger than ever before. Secrets, and the way we keep them Between you and me Promise we’ll never need them I can see something so true – no one else could ever see And I’ll never chance losing you I believe my heart – I hear what it’s telling me Jensen came a little closer, took the cup of coffee from Jared’s hands and took a little sip. “This is way too strong for you, Jay – you will be up for days,” he said quietly, and Jared, who had looked up when his cup had been taken from him, opened his mouth without knowing what to say. Jensen was so close, Jared could count his freckles in the dark. “Can’t sleep, no matter what,” he answered with a little shrug, but Jensen didn’t give him back his cup. Jensen hopped on the counter right next to Jared, so that they were facing each other, and spun the cup between his long, slender fingers. Jared watched like transfixed, felt his breath hitch for no reason at all, and his eyes followed the cup up to Jensen’s mouth, stared at the way his lips touched the rim and pressed against it, and Jared’s mouth went dry. One little white lie One white lie surrounds us One white lie won’t stop the love That I feel around us “You sure you wanna drink that?” Jared asked with a voice that didn’t sound like his, and Jensen’s eyes brightened a little. “Smells too good to resist.” The moment felt like Jared could ask Jensen anything, and Jensen would answer with nothing but the truth, but suddenly Jared was afraid what that truth might be. There had to be a reason Jensen was keeping secrets, and Jared wasn’t so sure anymore he could face those reasons. “What’s keeping you up, Jay?” Jensen suddenly asked. “Should be out like light after today.” Jared shrugged and avoided eye-contact, and Jensen let out a little sigh. “You noticed, didn’t you?” One little white lie One white lie tears us apart One white lie won’t stop the love That’s waiting in this heart ... that’s waiting in this heart Jared’s head jerked up at that, and the sad smile hovering around Jensen’s lips made him shift in his chair. “I sure noticed … something,” he answered a little vague, and Jensen managed a grin. “Thought you wouldn’t if I kept my distance.” Jared scrunched up his nose. “That’s what I noticed, Jen. That you keep away – and to be honest, I don’t like it. Not even a little. Took me years to get you out of your shell, and all of a sudden you just crawl back in there like a fucking sea turtle!” Jensen raised an eyebrow at that comparison, and Sadie took her head out of Jared’s lap and left the kitchen. “You think I’m a turtle?” Jensen asked with an amused little smile, and Jared shot him a glare. “Totally, dude. Wanna tell me what’s up with you lately?” Temptation leave us alone – cause I know you’re always there But white lies can weigh like a stone And in this world I hear them everywhere Jensen’s hands around the coffee cup tensed, and Jared bit his lip. “Just in case I can help – you know. I don’t like you to keep secrets. I thought we were best friends … and best friends don’t keep secrets.” Jared was vaguely aware of the fact that he sounded like a twelve-year old, but he didn’t care. He took the cup from Jensen’s hands, took a sip and gave it back, and when Jensen just stared at him, realization dawned. They were sitting in the kitchen in the middle of the night, sharing a cup of coffee, like … like friends. Only Jared felt inexplicably warm and fuzzy when his fingers touched Jensen’s while giving the cup back to him. Maybe they had stopped being friends a long time ago. Maybe keeping up the pretence of friendship was what Jensen had been doing these past few weeks. One little white lie, one lie One white lie tears us apart One white lie won’t stop the love That’s waiting in this heart ... that’s waiting in this heart “You … you’re not alone in this,” Jared said quietly, put his hand on Jensen’s knee like he would have done – like he did do – before things got weird, and Jensen looked down and stared at it like it set him on fire. And maybe it did. Jared knew their friendship was over from the heat in Jensen’s stare, and he swallowed audibly. “We’re together in this, Jen. If … if you want us to be.” Jensen just nodded, and that was all Jared needed. He got up from his chair, took the coffee cup from Jensen’s hands and put it away on the counter. Their first kiss was shy, gentle, and almost chaste – but once Jared gained confidence from Jensen not pulling away, he put his hands on Jensen’s cheeks, stroked the hint of stubble he found there with his thumbs, and let go. One lie, one lie One little white lie, one white lie One white lie, one little white lie Neither of them noticed when the cup fell to the floor and broke. The End Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)