failed at life
her talkative taciturnity filling the room
her glace striving your eyes
her eyes glimming in the moonlight
her innocence seducing your soul
~you know she´s not meant to die tonight~
she doesn´t know who you are
you know if she does she wouldn´t be with you
she´s trusting you
the deathliest oldest nightshade around
~you know she´s a lost sheep~
her neck paler than ever before
her blood pulsing underneath
you´re able to taste in on your tongue
you´re still refusing to give in
~but your addiction is stronger~
you close your eyes
you mustn´t give in
you have to resist
you don´t want to kill her
~she´s the only one you´ve ever loved before~
the beast beneath your reason is awaking
all for her blood´s sake
your reason to live
for God´s sake why can´t you die?
~you´re asking yourself what´s worth living for unconcious of your doings~
your eyes are open again
the taste of blood floating your mouth
the jerking body in your arms
you´re feeling the life fading away
~you´ve killed your world´s worth~
the cold corpse in your hands
her blood warm but liveless raising yourself up
you can´t deny your instict is stronger
you have to admit your addiction lasts longer
Is that all?
you failed at life, corazón...
Life´s a stage
The day that she saw her
she knew she won´t leave her
she knew she´ll be the one
the girl like a gun
THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE ´N´LOSS
THIN LINE BETWEEN SLAVE ´N´BOSS
THIN LINE TO WALK ON
THIN LINE TO STAY STRONG
A NOWADAYS´FAIRYTALE
NEVERENDING LEGEND OF LOVE
you know that you knew her before
rebirth wonder?
Nevermind.
fate or accident?
Some of a kind.
you don´t
I don´t
we don´t know
Life´s a stage
enjoy the show
THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE ´N´LOSS
THIN LINE BETWEEN SLAVE ´N´BOSS
THE SAME STORY AGAIN AND AGAIN
THE SAME STORY ACCORDING TO A PLAN
SOMEONE SEEMS TO USE THE STRINGS
EVERYTIME THE SHOW BEGINS
you know you acted this part once before
Doesn´t matter
we have to play,
No one minds
we have to pay,
for everything he wants us to do
Can´t change it
neither me nor you
so
go on playing
pretending to feel,
go on laughing
pretending it´s real,
go on hoping,
pretending not to know,
go on dying,
pretending to go...
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE REBORN IN THIS SHOW
CAN´T HELP IT
DON´T TRY TO...it´s in vain
different faces,
different names,
different problems,
different games...
BUT AT LEAST YOU KNOW THE ENSEMBLE
Happy Past Valentine
17.02.2009 13:23 message to Drake
last week´s sleepless nights and plessure all for your sake
You´re able to make a women smile and cry at one time...
You can twist her around your finger...
You can swear your love without thinking your emotional speech over...
You can talk and write about things you´d never do in reality forgetting to tell her...
Pretending to be the hard and bad guy she never wanted you to be...
You can leave her in a false illusion of love...
Till its too late...
But the worst thing is that this woman isn´t even angry about it...
She loves her loveable small baka under the dark cover of strength...
And she will wait even for the bad answer of decision against her...
She will stay beside you...
Caring for you...
If there´s ever no space left under your wings...
She will fly up above you and the ones you´re going to save in future...
She will spread her wings to save you all and shield you in times your wings seem to break under the selfmade weight...
Not caring of herself even if its stupid...
But she´ll offer anything that nothing happens to you...
Like her nee-san she will still smile and let the world wonder why...
Because she´s happy just being with you...
her smile a sword cutting through doubt and fear...
You´re in the inner circle of her heart...
A place where just a few people´s existence is justified...
Not much space left for anyone new even though her heart is sometimes said to be unbelievebly huge...
She doesn´t know if that´s right...
But in the outta circle there´s soon nearly an overpopulation...
There are so many people meaning together everything to her...
Chained on the buttom of her heart are the few hatred ones who tried or are still trying harm her beloveds...
The most unforgiveable crime...especially hurting her dearest persons...
(Burn and die there buddies...)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So now you know more about the strange ways my heart`s constructed...
I don´t know why I was talking in the third person all the time...excuse it...
It´s up to you now to guess where you are right now...
Maybe in the inner circle...
A clue:
Three persons being there will never be able to read this here @ animexx...
Oh by the way @ the one definately knowing that he´s meant in the first passage:
As long as you´re not sure about anything don´t speak about love again in front of another women if you don´t want to hurt her...
Don´t speak about things you don´t want to do in fact forgetting to clear this...
Hearts are flying faster to your feet as you think...
Beginning of a love story destined to fail
This is a story of two people meeting each other
unfortunately they will mix up love and another feeling
the time you´ll read this, their path has already been parted
but read how easy life seems to look for lovers...
But why do I know the ending?
I was part of it months ago...
And know I wish it would have never happened...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
180 mins of wooden sleep
than a dream made my flesh creep
heart´s beating, breath goes fast
caleidoscope of hidden past
Waking up and ´Jazz is different`
Sun shines brightly, volume´s decent
Breakfast to Placebo´s sound
snow´s outside all around
a headache, yes, my head goes boom,
all alone here in her room
the night was long, the night was worth it,
´cause finally we killed this nitwit
Qouted from the LORD OF WEED
Don Bilbo´s world of crack and speed,
senselessly lost in middle earth
wondering what we deserve
an RPG discovered feelings
dissatisfied just with calmly breathings
started kissing gingerly
lying there excitedly
"strange" your word of yesterday
explination´s left to stray
the touch of wings made me awake
my smiles today all for your sake
Your dark feathers´re still tickling me on purpose, don´t they? :D
Tentacle Pan Cakes
Senseless Songtext about one of the greatest days of my life
Neji♥
I´ll promise no one will understand it but us...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You and me jumpin´to Nirvana
You and me doing what we wanna
You and me singing to Green Day
You and me and a table to lay
Taking photos of pan cakes
Tentacle Pan Cakes - what a day!
Tentacle Pan Cakes - happy dismay
Making pan cakes
a cat and the nephew of devil
You and me watching blackbirds
You and me "cute that it hurts"
You and me writing a list
You and me pen in the fist
writing about pan cakes
Tentacle Pan Cakes - greatest lunch
Tentacle Pan Cakes - TENTACLE PUNCH!! XoX
Feeding a loaf of pan cakes
what a bad habit
You and me and dancing kings
You and me whatever `day brings
You and me, slave and master,
You and me, the perfect disaster
power unit of pan cakes
Tentacle Pan Cakes - cookin´ accident
Tentacle Pan Cakes - horror for a dent´
laughing about pan cakes
cuddling you, Baby!
You and me, a cross and a screw,
You and me, whatever we do,
You and me, a thief and a guard,
You and me, sometimes it´s hard,
not to think about pan cakes
Tantacle Pan Cakes - watching you cutely
Tantacle Pan Cakes - ideal of beauty
our weekend of pan cakes
so much time to spend
You and me, yaoi addicted,
You and me, forever restricted,
You and me, foolish and crazy,
You and me, fucked off and lazy,
dreaming ´bout pan cakes...
Graveyard of Dead Butterflies
Is it all over?
Whom´s fault?
Mine?
Yours?
...ours?
Is it all gone?
Nothing left but tears and sadness?
All the two years in vain?
Just a big graveyard of dead butterflies?
I can´t believe it...
I knew it from the beginning...
As I walked through my door in the afternoon...
You were just lying there...
No movement, no happy greeting, no kiss, no unpatience...
Keeping silent, not saying a word...
The sadness in your eyes made me fear the worst...
Unfortunately I had been right...
You don´t love me anymore...
You´re not sure whether there´s something left...
I started crying although I knew your feelings exactly ´cause I felt them many months ago...but I had reasons that had been changed, you knew them...
I had been fallen in love again...very badly this time, but now it seems to be your turn...even if you don´t know what`s wrong between us...
Yes, we are extraordinary different, but thats what has kept us together all the time...
You said you need my direct way to tell my feelings and thoughts...
You would love it...
If it´s not my character at all what´s wrong then?
You loved my body...
You loved my voice...
You loved my thoughts in poetry and conversation...
What to hell is it?
You said there´s a development tearing as apart...
You couldn´t take me to your parties and friends, because they seem to rough...
You can´t drink with me til your dellirium, because I´m always worried...
But you´d know my reasons to worry you ´d know what has happened to yourself
so thats ok...
SO WHAT´S WRONG?
We were on the best way to have a few same friends...
We were on parties without my worries...
There had been even family plannings...
We loved us...
What has happened to us?
Indeed I´d love to know it...
love & insanity
Love and Insanity belong together
since the first Tea Party ever
yawning Boredom demanded activity
"let´s play a game!", answered Insanity
They all were explained the rules of "Hide and Seek"
but Cravenness´Courage was to weak
Truth refused to hide herself
so they stayed watching on a shelf
The other guests agreed to play
The Enthusiam was shouting "Hooray!"
while Insanity´s counting they started to hide -
anywhere - but sheer outta his sight
hidden in a rose´s briar
captured there like in a wire
Love was waiting quietly
while he´s searching patiently
till his patience turned to worry
still found were Happiness and Glory
every hide should be searched through
nothing else was left to do
But Ambition handicapped Success
and Accident fought Luckiness
Malevolence spoiled Felicity´s fun
and Jealousy made Charity run
Insight and Intellect couldn´t work together
Egoism said "Help without advantage? -NEVER!"
Deciding to search on his own
Insanity was left to find her alone
Finally he saw a briar her seize
stabbed in with a stick but gouged out her eyes!
so Love´s day turned to night
and he felt sorry for her plight
Since that day he´s her fellow
guiding her through deep and shallow
"Because of me you´ve lost you sight,
I´ll promise you to be you light!"
You
my dear,
my love,
my everything,
my heart,
my life,
my darling,
my liberty,
my song to sing,
my time and space,
my other wing,
I´ll love you till the end of time
I´ll promise you believe me
but we arrived the end of rhyme
I hope you will forgive me
♥
Neverland 1
If being adult means to live a false illusion...
+ I don´t want to grow up +
If being adult means to give up the child within...
+ I will stay infantly forever +
If being adult means to lose wishes and dreames
+ I won´t ever awake again +
Peter Pan, take me away,
I want to be your fellow-stray
please, I´m begging, do it,
I won´t surrender to it
Peter Pan, take me away,
I wish to dream, I want to play,
please, I´m begging, try it,
You´ll save my tear to dry it
Peter, dude, I want to fly,
Peter, I won´t live this lie,
I´m not afraid of Captain Hook,
but of any housewifes´look
Peter, buddy, take me home,
in your world I want to roam,
Peter, please, send fairy´s dust,
Peter, please, be sure to trust
Peter, boy, my world is strange,
merrily I want to range,
but, Peter, there´s so much forbidden,
most important pleasures hidden
Tiger Lilly, Tinkerbell -
take away this living hell!
Peter, fellow, mercy, please
growing up is a disease!
If being adult means to be like them...
+ I´ll promise to kill them with my smile +
Neverland 2
Deary, dreary Captain Hook ,
embodiment of adult´s boredom,
You´re persuing Peter Pan,
the symbol of childish freedom,
wanna kill him,
wanna get him,
but you´re failing every try,
wanna catch him,
wanna stop him,
but he´s still up in the sky,
Deary, dreary Captain Fail,
Loser-Pirate Neverland´s,
as in every fairytale
crocodile´s in Peter´s hands
wanna flee it,
wanna beat it,
but there´s still a ticking noise,
wanna cook it,
wanna burn it,
Believe in you - you´ve got the choise
"It´s a pleasure watching you,
but Captain, don´t you want me to
release you from this dreadful beast,
maybe I´d help at least,
all alone in Neverland,
you seem to need my helping hand,
if you won´t leave and still return,
this will be your final turn!",
said Peter to you once ago,
your anger´s burning down below,
your pride forbids abandoning,
while Peter starts again to sing:
"Captain, childhood is a gift,
Don´t know if you got my drift,
but once gone it won´t return,
you´ve got many things to learn"
Dear Soul Brother Mine
Text to Martin 17th June 2009
Don´t be sad because of me
´cause I´m used to be
Unhappy
Don´t want you to
be unhappy too
brother mine
I´ll care for you
I´ll be there, too
If shodow´s harming
Brother, dear,
I´ll keep you here
safe in my heart
Having each other
let´s be happy
together
even if the whole world seems to mind it
Tale of two people
Once there had been a boy and a girl
she was his mistress and he was her world
her disciple and her were connected by mind
London Bridge´s fallin´ and three mice got blind
they promised to care
whenever one´s in need
they promised to dare
in fate they will meet
seeing the moon
they start to think of each other
missing each soon
she wants to be with her brother
Hugging and cuddling
never want to let go
they stand there huddling
not afraid to show
their kind of caring
their way of daring
against the crowd
she started to shout:
Let us be as we want to
you´ll never understand
what connects us - not you
Under the Cherry - Tree~♥ to Lisa
Sitting there in a cherry tree the one I want to save
If you won´t come down right here will be my grave
Waiting in the pouring rain
Watching you just a shadow of yourself
Sacrificing both our health
Staying in the pouring rain
It´s always raining when we´re sad
There´s a tempest when we´re mad
weather control
Coming down you´re shivering
Gone seems all my everything
promising to never leave you
Hugging you not saying a word
Silence cutting like a sword
New wounds in the elder
Tears and rain, your face shines wetly
Your taciturnity keeps silent sadly
While we´re hiding in the garden
A crow is croaking on a tree
some others on the roof to see
keep watching over us
You want me to go
I denied doing so
even if I´m "catching a cold" as you say
Under your tears it´s hard to breath
"Soulmate, I never want to leave"
A kiss as a seal of eternal shelter
Hate your parents for what they´ve done
There´s nothing left, trust is all gone
No one´s allowed to hurt you
Moon´s nursery is sung
Come on, dear, the day is young
don´t waste your time by thinking of them
Remember:
"Tonight you´ll see your most beloved!"
The ICQ Poem
The ICQ Poem
Cutting down the connection
leaving me in furious affection
hate you
eating up important information
failing in every situation
damn you
Departing me from the one I love
Stop it now I´ve had enough
I´ll make you die
you make me sigh
wanna cry:
FUCK YOU
ICQ
Ode to my Brother
Oh brother mine,
why are you so far away?
why can´t I see you everyday?
why do I sing if you can´t hear
it´s loneliness I have to fear
Oh brother mine,
I want to be
beside you,oh I want to flee
my world, your world, everything
I wish in our world I´m free to sing
whatever moves my heart now...
Missing someone
Missing
Missing is a disease with no healing
You´ll say there is one
but I say it won´t last long
The painful way of missing is never ending as long as you love
but take it as a proof that you do
´cause love is more than missing
and the one you love more than any pain could count...
A never ending story
A devil´s circle
loving and missing
Medicine and Symptome
living and dying for someone
both never leaving you as long there´s at least one person you love
If it dosn´t exsist- you´re not alive anymore...
The Cherry Tree Song
The beech tree heals wounds
The oak keeps you strong
The willow feels with you
The fir sings along
The pine tree defends you
The birch you can trust
The maple keeps secrets
Ancient barks, they won´t rust
The apple tree carries wishes
The pear tree makes fun
The plum tree will fool you
while enjoying the sun
There´s some one forgotten?
Oh no, fool, it´s not
but in some minds it´s rotten
they´ve forgotten a lot
One tree in my garden
masters it all
Queen of my meadow
growing there tall
Friend of my childhood
With whispering blossoms
your trunk understood
the problems I hold
Your fruits and you seed
fallen down deeply
I used to eat
in your shadow once sleepy
I told you my secrets
I told you their lies
Your leaves would be changing
as my shape would rise
Your boughs and your branches
took away all my fears
Your buds, leaves and blossoms
always catching my tears
Who needs all those trees
if he´s got one like you?
Whatever they can
You, Cherry, could, too.
You´ve been my best friend
through all these years
You will never bend
yourself for apples or pears
Your daughters are red
look, some are quite round
and over my head
the blowing wind´s sound
I´ll keep on singing
all summer long
the endlessly lasting
Cherry Tree Song
Mommy´s Lullaby
Sleep well, my dear
Mommy´s still here,
watching you...
butterflies protect your dreams,
nothing will be as it seems,
here in the world of time...
nothingness keeps sinking slowly,
into all you worthy, holy,
thoughts
turning them into the world you want to live in~
Good night, my heart,
your sleep should start,
before the brandnew morning...
Hope you will meet the unknown,
all the unshown,
this world can´t give you..
Daddy loves you,
Mommy, too,
laying all our love in you...
So my Darling, close your eyes,
the moon is watching, old and wise,
be kind to him, so he is happy
making you all tired and nappy,
wanting children now to sleep,
so the evening breeze will weep
and nurse you, so you´re feeling save
from the cradle to your grave...
love trade
Giving and taking
receiving and making
being glad for what you get for giving
trying to offer more than your heart
right from the start
love trade
paying a touch with a kiss
sending thoughts if you miss
the other one
apparently gone
but never forever
love´s shade
a kiss means more than a touch
but no word as much
as a smile
for while
lasting in your heart
hate´s blade
nothing´s worth the same
not even if you claim
it wasn´t meant the way it goes
only the reaction shows
which feeling was given
lovers rate
a part of life often missunderstood
so what if you would
want just to give
for the others to live
refusing to get
making them sad
trouble...selfmade
the other way wrong
the whole time as long
as you can´t except you have to pay
for every hug and every "Hey!"
at least with smile as an answer
to make it stay
heaven´s gate
so do lovers and their friends
holding hands
selling a kiss
for some bliss
just to give it right away
to the next along their way
just to sate
no one is immune to love
getting on a cloud above
but for the most different reasons
as the seasons
passing by
growing hate
so if you get nothing
but you´re giving
you are doing something wrong
as the others never getting
as their refuse keeps being strong
never too late
so start tomorrow selling bliss
keep on smiling stop to dis
but just to those deserving it
the ones thanking every bit
with at least a gesture of felicity
somewhere to find if you closely see
if you know the trade
Maze of my Mind
Come...
climb the hedge or solve the riddle
find your way into the middle
of my mind
keep on listening, keep on trying
clues are helpful, but they´re lying
try it blind
the red string around your finger
leads you to the strangest singer
somewhere behind
So...
Follow the signs, jump over the hill
Escape the tendrils trying to kill
maze of my mind
the most beautiful blossoms are deadly within
the will to survive is hidden by sin
or some of that kind
Never eat what´s suffered
Never drink what´s offered
I´ll feed you afterwards
I´m sure somewhen you´ll find the real me beneath...
Fly
Come out...
Emerge your egg and start to fly
you won´t regret it if you try
ready dried you´ll spread your wings
wondering what new daylight brings
Freedom
Escape the care of mother´s shadow
Fly above the greenest meadow
end of childhood - fully grown
finally all on your own
Independence
You´ll leave the scared and half tormented
Being curious is never rented
"What if he won´t return?"
Nescience bothers, worries burn
Nonsense
Does a bird ever return to the nest it´s born?
No...
But that is it what seperates birds from human beings...
WE will always return to the one making us fly once...
If they deserve it.
If they are worth it.
tired
TIRED - eyes closing
stars twinkling and posing
they want me to sleep
it´s hard to keep
my eyes open
SLEEP - drowning in dreams
diving in - seems
like I don´t want to awake
and stay in my make-
belief forever
NIGHTMARE - I´m not aware
of you - should I dare
to conquer, to beat
your seat
in my head?
NO - sweet dream or bad
I´m glad
to be able to have at least one of them...
